Let’s just get this out of the way: I have made another life-altering decision. I have decided to leave the Culinary Institute of America. I have already applied to and am waiting on a decision from IUPUI’s School of Education to pursue a degree in Elementary Education. I bet that right now a lot of you are saying, “Didn’t Brendan leave school once already and dedicate all of his time the past three years to go to the CIA?” Well, yes I did. Believe me, this is by far the hardest thing I have ever decided to do and I did not approach it lightly. Let me try to explain my reasoning behind my choice to leave the Culinary Institute of America.
In every career that I have ever dreamed about/pursued/actually had, the end goal was to one day teach it. When I was in middle school, I wanted to be an English teacher. In early high school, I wanted to work in museum education. In late high school I wanted to be a Government teacher. Even as I entered the culinary world, I always knew that after working in restaurants for a while, I would hopefully work for a culinary school. Every job that I have had in the past has been in the form of teaching and giving tours (The Children’s Museum, coaching high school rowing, and being a college tour guide). While the subject matter has often been different, being an educator is the one constant theme in my career path.
The most difficult part of making this decision is that I have been incredibly successful in culinary school. I had a 4.0 and was my class leader at Ivy Tech. Here at the CIA, I have gained incredible amounts of knowledge and have maintained a 3.6. At The Hawthorns, I was a full-fledged line cook and was running my own station by the time that my apprenticeship came to a close. I really am incredibly proud of the things that I have done in the past three years. I don’t regret the time that I have put in or the places that I have gone. The problem is just that cooking and being part of the food industry does not make me as happy as I thought it would. While food is indeed a passion, I have come to the realization that it is just a passion and not a calling. As much as I want to love working in a kitchen, I do not. I think that having my experience at the children’s museum and as a rowing coach as taught me a few valuable things about having a job/career. Even though every minute of it is not fun, I never ever dreaded going in to work coaching or interpreting. At the end of the day in Dinosphere, I was always quite happy with what I had done. Oftentimes when walking into class at the CIA or driving in to work at the restaurant, I would be filled with an overwhelming sense of dread at what was about to happen. I wanted more than anything to not be there and just get the day done with. I hope that it is not idealistic of me to say that I want a job that I enjoy going to and makes me feel accomplished.
It’s more than just being happy that I am looking for, though. I want a job that matters. While there are people in the food industry who can contribute to the world, very few do. At the end of a night of dinner service, all I have really done is cook some chicken and make some sauce. I want to have a bigger impact on people. I feel like I have abandoned some of the ideals that once motivated everything that I did. Being a cook has caused me ignore my passion for vegetarianism, my awareness of world events, and my dedication to various human rights issues. While I know that educators do not save the world in the way that others do, I still know that I have the potential to do more good than just cutting carrots and making demi glace all day. The final major reason that I want to go into education is that I want to lead a more normal life than I have had the last few years. As much as I love going to the grocery store at midnight and nobody is around, I miss being able to see my friends and family in the daylight. I know that one day I will have kids. I really want to have a family. As a chef, the long, late hours and the demand to work holidays and weekends make maintaining relationships difficult, yet alone trying to raise children.
So…what is the end game in all of this? I am not sure. I think I would be happy in a classroom as a traditional elementary school teacher. However, I would first like to explore what it would take to be successful as a museum educator. I have spoken to my former boss at the Children’s Museum and we are exploring the possibility of my return this May. I know that there are few things in the world that make me as happy as being on the floor of that museum after a successful program. I love talking to kids and making them smile as we talk and play games about dinosaurs. In the past, I have returned to work there time and time again because it’s fun and I enjoy the company of my coworkers. This time, I am really excited to explore Interpretation as a possible career.
This is never, not even in a million years, where I thought I would end up. I was convinced that I had found my career in cooking. However, I do not regret any of the things that I have done in the past four years since high school. I have learned volumes about what motivates me, where my interests are, and what I can do in the future. I have made a lot of changes and taken a lot of non-traditional paths. I am incredibly grateful to have had such understanding and supportive parents. I would not have been able to pursue (so many) dreams without them. I also want to thank all of my other family and friends for understanding that I have never been one to make decisions and do things the traditional way. I cannot ask for any more or thank you enough for supporting me as I start yet another chapter in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment